


All We Ever Wanted (Was Just To Come In From The Cold)

by gollumgollum



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Beardy Carisi, M/M, Reunions, Schmoop, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:18:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5141201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gollumgollum/pseuds/gollumgollum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I take it you had a major bust,” Rafael said, trying to get a feel for what was going on. </p>
<p>“Major,” Liv agreed. “One we’ve been working on for months, in fact. Trafficking ring. There are a lot of girls going home to their families this year.” </p>
<p>That made sense, and explained why everyone seemed to be moving at top speed. It also gave Rafael a tiny flicker of hope, guttering into light behind his breastbone. Before he could say anything, though, Liv stopped outside the interrogation room. “I made a promise to someone else’s mother that I’d have him home for the holidays,” she said, and before Rafael could react, she’d opened the door and ushered him inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All We Ever Wanted (Was Just To Come In From The Cold)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [can_i_poke_it_with_a_stick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_poke_it_with_a_stick/gifts).



> Because I had to write something about [beardy, long-haired Carisi.](http://iheartcarisi.tumblr.com/post/132410861999/hes-not-even-sorry) Title from Joni Mitchell’s “Come In From the Cold.” Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Happy birthday, [can_i_poke_it_with_a_stick](http://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_poke_it_with_a_stick/pseuds/can_i_poke_it_with_a_stick)!

“This had better be good,” Rafael grumbled to Liv as he entered the precinct. “You do know tomorrow’s a holiday, yes?” The bullpen was a hive of activity, considering it was late enough on Christmas Eve that it was technically Christmas morning. Liv gave him a smile that he wasn’t quite sure how to interpret—he’d been more snappish lately, these last few months, and she apparently found it endearing, which only made Rafael more annoyed. At least she was the only one who knew the reason why, although he had the feeling that the others suspected. 

“I think you’ll appreciate it,” was all she said, leading him to an interrogation room. The blinds were down on the window, so he couldn’t see who was inside. The blinds were down in her office, as well, which was also unusual.

“I take it you had a major bust,” he said, trying to get a feel for what was going on. 

“Major,” she agreed. “One we’ve been working on for months, in fact. Trafficking ring. There are a lot of girls going home to their families this year.” 

That made sense, and explained why everyone seemed to be moving at top speed. It also gave Rafael a tiny flicker of hope, guttering into light behind his breastbone. Before he could say anything, though, Liv stopped outside the interrogation room. “I made a promise to someone else’s mother that I’d have him home for the holidays,” she said, and before Rafael could react, she’d opened the door and ushered him inside.

Sonny looked up from where he was seated at the table, and when he saw Rafael, he broke into the biggest, brightest smile Rafael had ever seen. His hair was long, curling against the collar of his flannel shirt, and he’d grown a full beard. He looked exhausted but happy as he stood up, his eyes never leaving Rafael’s face. “Hey,” he said softly. 

Liv hadn’t stopped, crossing the room to the door that led to her office. She knocked twice on it, looking back at the pair of them with a smile. “Take as much time as you need,” she said as the door opened. 

“Thanks, boss,” Sonny said, eyes still trained on Rafael’s face. 

“Clean up any mess,” Fin called from Liv’s office before he closed the door. 

The latch clicked, and it was like a spell had been released—Rafael crossed the space between them in three long strides, catching Sonny’s face in his hands and pulling him down into a fierce kiss. Sonny’s hands slid around Rafael’s waist, pulling him closer as he returned it. A thousand conflicting thoughts and feelings coursed through Rafael, all of them underwritten with a strong sense of relief, so of course he pulled back and snapped “You said three months.” 

“I know,” Sonny said, tilting his forehead to rest on Rafael’s. He brought one hand up to cup Rafael’s face, gently, thumb tracing his cheekbone. “I’m sorry. We didn’t have enough until this morning, and even then it’s only because we got lucky.” 

Rafael’s hands were sliding down Sonny’s shoulders, his arms, his ribs, moving of their own accord—checking to make sure Sonny was intact, he realized, and kissed him again. “Tell me you’re done. Tell me you’re not going to disappear for another six months.” Three months would have been hard enough; the six months Sonny had been gone were longer than they’d been together.

“I’m here,” Sonny said, in between kisses. “I’m back. You’re stuck with me.” He pulled back just far enough to smile at Rafael, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “I missed you too.” 

“You better have,” Rafael grumbled, pulling Sonny close and burying his face against the side of Sonny’s neck. Sonny smelled like cheap soap and stale beer and, faintly, coconut, and it was disgusting but Rafael couldn’t get enough. 

“Every minute,” Sonny sighed. His beard tickled against Rafael’s neck when he bent down to place a gentle kiss there. “I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t.”

“I know.” He’d known the rules when Sonny had first gone undercover. He hadn’t liked them—hadn’t liked any of it, truth be told, and they’d certainly had the arguments to prove it before Sonny had gone. Now, with Sonny’s flannel shirt soft beneath his hands, his beard scraping gently against his neck, Rafael wished they’d spent less time fighting over it and more time doing anything else. 

“You got plans for this week?” Sonny murmured, straightening. Rafael reluctantly followed suit, although neither one of them let go of the other. “Because the lieutenant said she doesn’t want to see me back here until after New Year’s.” 

“I don’t have court,” Rafael said. “I could take some time off, provided you promise not to leave my bed.” 

One corner of Sonny’s mouth pulled up into a smirk. “That can be arranged, although I have to go to my parents’ tomorrow, or my mom will show up and drag me to Staten Island by herself.” 

“I hate the holidays,” Rafael complained, leaning up to kiss Sonny again, making up for lost time. 

“The holidays mean we can spend the rest of the week in your bed,” Sonny pointed out. “And don’t worry, I told Mom we weren’t showing up until dinner, because I haven’t slept in something like forty hours, now.” Rafael could see it now that Sonny had pointed it out—weariness was etched deeply into the lines of Sonny’s face, and his eyes were red and bleary. Rafael wanted nothing more than to get him home. 

“When can you go?” he asked.

Sonny shrugged. “Coupla hours, maybe. There’s paperwork and stuff, and they can’t just let me walk out until they get everyone else processed.” 

“Are you hungry?” Rafael asked.

Sonny smiled. “I missed you trying to feed me all the damn time.” 

“Someone has to,” Rafael retorted. 

“Have _you_ been eating?” Sonny asked pointedly. Rafael was much better at feeding other people than himself, as his empty fridge and cupboards would attest. Left to his own devices, he was much more likely to go out. He only cooked when he had someone—when he had Sonny—to feed. 

“Well enough,” Rafael answered. 

“So that’s a no. We can stop for food on the way home,” Sonny said. He looked at Rafael for a long moment, a slow smile spreading over his face. “I really did miss you, you know.”

“You said that already,” Rafael pointed out, because he was sometimes completely incapable of not being a dick, especially when he felt vulnerable. 

“You know what else I missed?” Sonny asked, because he could be a dick too, when he wanted to. “Shaving, oh my god. My face _still_ itches.”

“Keep it,” Rafael said before he could stop himself. “Just until you have to go back to work.” 

“Yeah?” Sonny asked. 

“If you want,” Rafael said, diffidently. He leaned up to murmur in Sonny’s ear, “But I will admit that I’m curious what that beard feels like on my skin.” 

Sonny laughed, arms tightening around Rafael. “I think that could be arranged,” he said. “If you ask nicely enough.” 

There was a rap on the door then, and Liv stuck her head in a second later. “Sorry, guys, but we’ve gotta keep moving so that we can get everyone processed.” 

“Of course,” Rafael said, stepping back and forcing himself to let go of Sonny. Soon enough, he told himself.

Sonny straightened his shoulders, looking unhappy, and Rafael realized how hard it was going to be for him to go back into the lockup. “Not for too long, right, Lieutenant?” 

“Actually, we just need the room,” she said, gesturing to her office. “You two can make yourself comfortable in here until we can turn Carisi loose, though.” 

Rafael couldn’t help himself; he stepped forward and slipped his hand around Sonny’s back. “Thank you, Liv,” he said quietly, guiding Sonny past her. 

“Of course,” she said, smiling. 

Liv returned two hours later; Sonny was stretched out on the couch, his feet dangling off the end, his head in Rafael’s lap. Rafael was dozing, his fingers trailing through Sonny’s long hair. He snapped back to wakefulness as Liv let herself in, carefully closing the door behind herself. 

“You’ll never forgive me if I tell you how cute you look right now, will you?” she asked, one corner of her mouth pulling up in amusement. 

“I still haven’t forgiven you for bringing him home for his mother instead of me,” Rafael grumped. 

Liv laughed softly. “Sorry, but Mrs. Carisi is even scarier than you are.” Rafael couldn’t argue with that. “Anyway, we’re done cleaning up, and you two can head home now. Tell Carisi if I catch sight of him before next year, I’m busting him down to traffic.” 

Rafael snorted. “And everyone thinks I’m the mean one.” He poked Sonny. “C’mon, time to go home.” 

Sonny mumbled something, then sat up suddenly, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He looked at Rafael, then up at Liv, then back down at the floor. “Oh. Yeah.” He turned to Rafael again, this time looking hopeful. “Home?” 

“Home,” Rafael nodded. “C’mon, get your coat. It’s snowing outside.” 

Sonny nodded, rubbing at his beard, then stumbled out into the bullpen. “Until next year,” Rafael said, collecting his own coat from the arm of the couch. He couldn’t help the fond, small smile he gave Liv. “Merry Christmas, Liv.” 

“Merry Christmas, Barba,” she said, smiling back. 

Sonny was talking to Fin, one hand trailing over the edge of his desk absently like he wanted to reassure himself it was still there. He was also, clearly, asleep on his feet. Rafael couldn’t wait to get him home and tucked into bed. “Let’s go,” he said, stopping next to them. 

Fin clapped Sonny on the shoulder. “Good work, man. See you next year.” 

“See you then,” Sonny said, fighting off a yawn. “Try not to have too much fun without me.”

“We couldn’t if we tried. It’s too quiet without you here,” Fin said. 

Sonny grinned. “See, Raf, I knew you weren’t the only one who missed me.” 

“I deny everything,” Rafael said, shaking his head. “Good night, Detective.”

“Counselor,” Fin said, clearly deeply amused. 

It wasn’t until they were both tucked into bed, the lights out and Sonny breathing deeply next to him that Rafael snuggled closer and buried his face against the side of Sonny’s neck. “Don’t you ever disappear for that long again,” he said. 

“Okay,” Sonny replied sleepily. “Promise.”

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Rafael snapped, embarrassed at getting caught out. 

Sonny rolled onto his side, arms wrapping around Rafael, tangling their legs together. “Sleep is great, but this is better,” he murmured, his beard tickling against Rafael’s cheek. “Missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” Rafael admitted, curling into him. 

“Hope I don’t have to do anything like that again,” Sonny said. “Not just ‘coz it was so long. Had to keep telling myself to wait, that it would all be worth it.”

Rafael had no illusions about the sorts of things Sonny likely had seen and done. He kissed the underside of his jaw, just below the beard. “It’s done now.”

“Was afraid you’d trade in for a newer, younger model while I was gone,” Sonny said. “If y’did, don’ tell me till after I get some sleep?”

“I didn’t,” Rafael promised. He hesitated, then admitted, “There’s no replacing you.”

“Damn right,” Sonny sighed happily. “Hey Raf?”

“Mmm?”

Rafael waited, but there was no answer; Sonny was sound asleep. “Welcome home, Sonny,” Rafael whispered, and held him just a little bit tighter.


End file.
